Currently: Spring 2023

 

"Where flowers bloom so does hope"

~ Lady Bird Johnson

Hello! I hope everybody had a happy and healthy spring (as in, I hope the seasonal allergies didn't kill you). Here in Virginia the spring was very rainy and unusually cool. Normally the heat hits by about late April to early May, but this year springtime was stretched out. Not necessarily a bad thing either. Spring is oftentimes described as a time of change, of renewal, but also of surprises too. And let me tell you, I've had quite a few surprises since March.

 

Let me start off with saying that I am in a relationship. Ever since March 18th. It came quite suddenly and unexpectedly too. The guy is a coworker and really for the longest time I thought he didn't like me, because my first few months at work he never talked to me. However after a while we warmed up to each other and pretty soon I found myself falling for him. Some women have a wish list for their prospective significant others, I had a standard list. Many of them really weren't that difficult either:

- Had to be a Christian

- Needed to be settled in a job

- Had a vision or goal in their lives for a successful career

- Wasn't in college debt

- Was good with children and had hopes for future children

- Was well respected by people

- Didn't always feel the need to be around people

Some of them were more give or take:

- Enjoyed being outside

- Liked subjects such as history

- Wasn't obsessed with anime

- Wasn't a gamer

- Didn't drink

I figured that after 30 years remaining faithful to this standard list was the reason that I was single. However, I refused to back down and made the decision that I would rather be single than settle.

So, the more and more I got to know this guy, the more I realized that he was checking off every single box that I had made. The only concern I had is that he played video games, which in itself isn't a bad thing, but gamers have a stereotype and it's one I wasn't willing to tolerate. Then when I found out he only played Zelda and Minecraft, I relented. Zelda gamers actually posses functioning brain cells and Minecraft is all digital design. When he told me that the he pre-ordered the new Zelda game, I had a laugh because I've done the same thing with the Coromoran Strike book series and said as much to him.

He's a hard worker, let him have his geek moments. 

By the time March rolled around I couldn't deny that I was crazy about him. The only thing that was holding me back was the age gap. He's nine years younger than me. Now age is just a number, but when it's between an older women and a younger man, there is a stigma. It could be looked at that I was the one pursuing him and if anything happens, I would be the one that blame is placed on. Lets just admit it right there. There's also the problem of family and being ready to settle down. I'm 32 and I want to have children, however at 23 he believes that he's not ready for them (an utter lie. He loves children and I think he's just nervous). These are the two issues that I've spent a great deal of time thinking over. 

Until a few months ago, I had never seen myself getting together with a younger man. Even a two year age gap seemed impossible. At one point in time I loved the idea of marrying an older man. It was a romantic thought when I was in my 20s and the older man was in his 30s. Now that I'm in my 30s and that puts the older man in question in his 40s, I've seen that older men are very problematic. The older men that I've met tended to be selfish, misogynistic, demanding and completely incapable of treating me with any respect. On the flip side, I noticed I got along much better with guys my own age or even younger guys who were much more respectful and easier to be around.

So anyways, back to March. He out of the blue finally asked me out, I said yes and we've been together ever since. It was a surprise for me because I thought he was clueless and then come to find out he had feelings for me shortly after he met me, he was just too nervous to say anything at all. 

I will say that there have been a lot of ups and downs. I tell him that he signed up for an emotional train wreck, but he has been so supportive with my constant mood swings and past damages that I still haven't recovered from. One thing I hadn't had on my list was that he would also be my friend. It never dawned on me to think of my significant other that way. Yet, he has become a wonderful friend that I have been wanting for so long. 

Neither one of us has no idea what the future holds for us. We're taking it day by day. I will say that I am happy, I'm loved, I'm safe, I'm wanted and I'm understood. Recently I've encountered some problems in my job and he has been the best support I could have asked for. The job isn't perfect and after 6 months there was bound to be issues, but having him there has made it easier for me as well.

In other news, I started learning French in January and it has been so much fun! It's been exciting learning new words and phrases and actually being able to read some French. I've always loved France, but I wanted to do more than learn the language.

 I really wanted to understand the Parisian woman and what made her so iconic.

So I started to research what Parisian women wore for makeup (very little) and they focused more on their skincare. So I stared to place more importance on my skincare routine. My skin looks great and I'm not spending so much money on makeup either!

Then I researched what they ate. No processed foods of any kind. All fresh breads, fruits, vegetables and chicken. I had been living off of processed foods for years and to be honest was kind of ashamed of my eating. I wanted to eat healthier, so I tossed all the microwave meals and other processed junk and have started focusing more on produce and making my own meals. There's a farmer's market that's opened every Saturday and I've been taking advantage of it! Eating healthier has been wonderful and I've begun to discover that I love experimenting in the kitchen and making simple recipes for my lunches (supper is usually just yogurt or fruit and toast). 

Now we get to fashion. I have none. I've never cared for clothes, but a Parisian women is defined by her clothing and my wardrobe was in need of an upgrade. Parisian women have a casual, but classy style. They have a few basic pieces and then build their wardrobe from there. After yet more research I started to build my own Parisian wardrobe that consists of jeans (they love jeans), three or four simple tops (no graphic tees, bright colors, rips or tears), several skirts and dresses and shoes that meet the occasion whether formal or casual. One thing I found in my research is that Parisian women don't wear shorts. It's seen as disrespectful to wear shorts in public, so I'm determined to spend the summer wearing all skirts and dresses (unless I'm at work where I have to wear a uniform).  

That takeaway is that I have an updated wardrobe that is much more classy and age appropriate. I love the new clothes that I've gotten! And wearing skirts and dresses is much more comfortable than shorts. The French experience has had me look at the much needed changes in my life and has left me with a more complete understanding of what I want and how I go about getting it.  

The site has been somewhat abandoned since March, normally because I'm on a date every Saturday now and I get home from work so tired, I can't focus on anything. I also quit the Goodreads reading challenge. I was getting too far behind and I didn't want it to become a chore. Unfortunately there have been no good movies either! None at all. I did get to see Jesus Christ Superstar in June and it was excellent! A wonderful production and another musical I can check off my list.

So that's been my life since March. A lot of good changes that I've been needing and definitely wasn't expecting! I hope everyone had a good spring and enjoy a fun summer!