When People Just Need to Stop Talking

I can't begin to tell you how often I get remarks like this from people. And I am over it.

It's bad enough I have to wake up in the middle of the night to prepare for work. Then people who come in (that I get up so early in the morning for, so that they can access to the facility and all their needs are accommodated) have the alright audacity to complain about my exhausted appearance. I have told members over and over again that I'm not a morning person, however, that doesn't seem to sit well with them.

"Why do you always look so tired or sad?"

"You need to wake up!"

"Maybe if you smiled more, you wouldn't be be sleepy."

"I get up at 4 in the morning every single day. You're just going to have to get use to it."

I've heard it and have either had to endure it with a painfully forced smile or just ignore it all together.  My question is, what gives people the right to comment on someone's appearance, when it so obvious that said person isn't comfortable. People think they're acting out of kindness, but really, it's shallow narcistic behavior. Having to make someone conform to your idea of what appearance and comfort should be. 

I have to go to bed so early and miss out on the family activities. I am so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open. There have been times I've almost cried when my alarm clock goes off. I am so stressed that I'm not going to get everything done in the right amount of time. When my anxiety wells up and I'm about to break into tears and instead of showing kindness, people contradict me about how my appearance isn't good enough for them. 

Here's a scenario:

What if someone returned from a workout, covered with sweat, their hair is a mess and their clothes are drenched. Would I say, "You look terrible" or "You need to take a shower before you come out here"

No! Absolutely not!

When people only take notice of the physical instead of simply asking, "Are you alright? Do you need something?" then it really proves what little sympathy they really have for the person in general. Nothing is worse then you're told that you need to smile more.

No. Just stop right there.

A smile is not meant to make someone happy.

You don't tell someone who may be struggling with depression or anxiety or is in the middle of a breakdown that they just need to smile more. Or that smiling will make a woman prettier. Contrary to popular belief, a woman's appearance is judged solely by the woman herself. I don't put on makeup or do my hair just to be pretty for other people. I do it because it makes me happy. I smile when I see people that I like or there's something I genuinely enjoy. 

I do not like stupid people, shallow people or callous comments. I do not enjoy getting up early in the morning, walking through a dark parking lot, working by myself, and feeling stressed out when things aren't going well.  

Do not make rude comments about a person's appearance. 

Do not try to be a person's therapist by stating that their appearance is the real problem.

Do not insert your own personal life into someone else's problems. 

It's pretty simple people. Don't be effing assholes when someone is clearly not looking or feeling well. Show some kindness, ask them if they're alright, and just listen to them. Your opinion on how they look is irrelevant and unneeded. Don't make the situation about you.

And if you're mentally incapable of doing any of the above. Just follow this one rule.

S h u t  t h e  F U C K u p