Defending Daughters Pt. 2

I'm venting because I'm so over this sexist bullshit

 I wrote about this last year. It's a proven fact that boys are the preferred gender in America:

American Parents (still) Prefer Boys

Parents Mention Sons More Often Than Daughters on Social Media

Slight Preference for Having Boy Children Persists in the U.S.

Americans Continue to Prefer Sons Over Daughters

Parents Who Favor Boys Raise Girls Who Score Lower in Math

And lets take a look at gender reveals

There's plenty more of these as well. Just look them up on Instagram. More often than not the father and even the mother are disappointed if the gender is a girl and not a boy.

Maybe I shouldn't be so concerned about people's personal preferences. To each his own. However, since I was a young girl, I have been shocked at the negativity that has always been associated with having girls and raising daughters.  Not being a mother myself, but working in childcare for almost 20 years and associating in all age groups, I can tell you that both boys and girls are equally challenging and rewarding to be around. Yet, for years I have heard frequent negative comments about girls. 

"Girls are so dramatic and catty"

"If we end up having another girl, I'll kill myself"

"She's been so difficult, I hope this next one is a boy"

"I wanted a girl at first, but now I'm glad I have all boys"

"We really want a boy after these girls"

While the last two may not be seen as negative, they always surprise me. It seems that boys bring contentment, while girls still leave the frequent desire to have a son. I don't want to demean people for their personal choices, but does it always have to be seeped in negativity toward females?

For all the rude comments I've heard about girls and daughters, they are usually preceded or followed by praise for boys.

"Boys are so much more fun"

"They're actually easier to get along with"

"Boys aren't expensive"

"Boys don't bring as much drama"

Rarely do I ever get any negative comments about raising sons. In my years of nannying and child behavior observance (that I was hoping would prepare me for motherhood), I have seen such a variety of personalities from both boys and girls, that to make a preference judgement based on gender is ridiculous. A child's personality is not always based on their gender! Boys can be just as aggravating, winy and dramatic. Girls can be just as easy going and relaxed. Unfortunately we still live with the old adage "Boys will be boys." So if it's excusable for boys to be loud and wild, why can't girls be dramatic and bratty?

Am I saying that girls in the West are mistreated in any way because of America's gender preference?

No. Absolutely not. 

Females in America, Europe and Australia are the most privileged, educated and advancing demographic in the Western Hemisphere. And that's wonderful; seeing how far women have come and honoring the women who fought and sacrificed for what this generation today can never take for granted. But what's the point sometimes if society still undervalues and underappreciates girls and daughters? 

As I wrote before, people said they preferred sons over daughters, because girls present a greater social challenge:

1.) Not treated equally in school

2.) Gender discrimination in sports

3.) Sexual harassment in college and workplace

4.) Body autonomy

5.) Degrading terms

6.) Proper wages

7.) Workplace motherhood discrimination

8.) No support in parenthood

9.) Being a natural born woman

10.) People's personal opinions

I'm sorry, but if these are considered social challenges to consider not wanting a daughter, then society has become lazier than I thought. Women in other countries are risking their lives just to go to school and we're here worrying about not getting on the soccer team. The only real discriminations I see in women's sports is allowing males to compete in them (I'll write about that in another post). 

Sexual abuse has also been brought up as a factor not wanting daughters. Which makes no sense to me seeing as girls are most likely to be assaulted by their fathers and not by strangers. It's not wrong to fear for your child's wellbeing, but to despair for events that haven't even unfolded yet speaks volumes of cowardice. 

Whatever the reason might be, society needs to stop devaluing girls and daughters. Maybe it's my baby fever speaking and my absolute desire to have a daughter that is so strong. I don't want to have a daughter to make her a miniature version of myself (my own self is difficult enough) or to just dress her up like a living doll. I want a daughter to challenge the cynical attitudes of society toward girls. That they are just dramatic and expensive. Catty and mean.

Look at what society has given girls to admire in pop culture though: 

You can't feed this kind of drivel trash to impressionable girls and then condemn them for acting out what they've grown up watching. Just like the mothers who see their baby girls as dolls and spoil them endlessly and then wonder why they have a demanding little diva by the time she's five. 

Gender preference is a personal subject for me. I grew up in the middle of four brothers and I never felt like I was wanted by them. They were all very close and I was forever on the outside looking in. When we all got into trouble, they banded together and blamed me and frequently got away with it.  I grew angry and voiced my opinions about them which only got me into deeper trouble and labeled my as a bitchy, mean sister. If I had been seen as an equal and not an outsider, I probably wouldn't be taking gender preference so seriously. 

If you desire a boy, then by all means make plans to do so. Yet you don't have to do it at the expense of devaluing girls and daughters. In my research I have found some articles that show that the gender preference of male over female is changing, a little to slow, but changing all the same.

American Parents Say They Prefer Sons, Act Like They Prefer Daughters

Declining Son Preference in the US

Do you believe that there is a gender preference in America?

Do you have a gender preference? (Don't lie, everyone does)

Is society's sexist attitudes toward girls validated? (That all girls are dramatic, mean, expensive, etc.) 

Do mother's see their own daughters as competition and therefore, as a good reason to only have sons?