Original Instagram post: Here
Because I’ve been unable to adjust my mindset, I’ve become incapable of contentment with the weight I’ve lost and have continued to lose. My goal was 135 and then 130 now it’s almost 125. That’s the thinnest I’ve been since 2012.
It also doesn’t help--at times--that I’ve always compared myself to beautiful female celebrities that do inspire me to work out and eat healthy, but I can become too hard on myself to strive for a look my body type was not made for.
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| L-R: Vikings actresses Kathryn Winnick and Georgia Hirst, and Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman) |
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with finding inspiration with public figures.
Kathryn Winnick is just gorgeous and absolutely fit (at 41 years old)! And I found myself somewhat intimidated at how stunning she is and feeling my own insecurities come to the surface every time I saw a picture of her.
Georgia Hirst may not be a well known name, but I saw her Instagram posts of her workouts and healthy eating and I would think to myself, "Why can't I do that? Why can't I take care of myself like that? She's so beautiful. I could be doing so much better."
Gal Gadot is almost 6 ft tall and is an iron railing, but she weighs in at 130 lbs. At my highest weight, I was 30 pounds heavier than her and I'm only 5'5". I'm smaller than her and so I needed to weight less than her.
My general ambitions was to care for myself the way these women did by working out and starting to eat better. And believe me it really has worked. However, I can't fall into the obsessive thinking of wanting my body to look like theirs.
So now the question is how far do I keep going before I become so overwhelmed with the number and the excitement of the weight loss? I was 157 in July of last year. Now I’m (as of this morning) 126.2. That number is nothing to balk at, but to get to the next number has almost become an adrenaline rush for me.
The scale is not my enemy, it’s tool for my development. The mirror shows me what’s there. I’m not writing this to have people feel bad for me. Rather just to come to the acceptance that I have to learn where my limits are and how to practice the hard art of contentment with my hard work
I feel like I've always either wanted to lose weight/get fit even when, looking back, I only need toning and exercise/eating well, not actually weight loss.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the number on the scale is going to be different for everyone. Sometimes it is more healthful for some to be thinner or to weigh less. I'm 5'5" too, but I haven't been in the 120's since a young teen, and I don't think with my family's muscle mass, that it will be healthy or practicable for me to be that light. So, as long as you are within the recommended range (I think it's like a 15+ pound range for each height), that is healthy.
Good for you on being healthy, I've got to work on that!
It all really comes down to what is best for your body. For me I wanted both; to lose weight and get fit. My weight is still going down and I can say that I've manged to create the habit of working out 5 times a week. And it's wonderful too.
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